Grief takes different forms depending on the loss and your relationship to it: Grief after the death of a loved one is the most recognized form Loss of a partner or spouse, which reshapes daily life and identity Loss of a child is often called the most difficult grief to bear Loss of a family member, parent, sibling, or close friend Anticipatory grief, grieving before the loss has happened Complicated grief, when grief becomes stuck or prolonged Prolonged grief, when acute grief continues for extended periods Traumatic grief, when the loss itself was sudden or traumatic

Hospitalization, surgery, ICU stays, and serious illness can leave lasting effects on your nervous system: Surgical trauma from procedures that were frightening or painful ICU trauma from extended or critical hospital stays Illness trauma from chronic or life-threatening diagnoses Medical trauma from invasive procedures or loss of bodily autonomy

Accidents can leave you with symptoms that persist long after physical healing: Car accident, PTSD, and driving anxiety Accident trauma from any sudden, unexpected injury Hypervigilance and flashbacks related to the event

Trauma doesn’t only happen in dramatic circumstances. Workplace experiences can be deeply damaging: Workplace trauma from hostile or abusive environments Workplace bullying and its lasting effects on self-worth Chronic stress and burnout have become traumatic

Therapy for Grief and Loss in Arlington, VA

Grief doesn’t go away, but it can feel different

Hi, I’m Micah Fleitman, LPC.

I’m a grief therapist in Arlington, and I work with adults who are carrying loss that hasn’t resolved on its own. Whether it’s the death of someone you loved, a traumatic loss that still reverberates, or grief that’s become complicated and stuck, I offer online trauma therapy across Virginia to help you work through what you’re carrying.

Why People Seek Grief Therapy

Sometimes grief doesn’t ease; it just stays

Most people expect grief to follow a timeline. You feel the loss intensely at first; it gradually softens, and eventually you find a new normal. For some people, that happens. For others, the grief stays raw, or goes underground, or gets tangled with guilt, trauma, or unfinished business that won’t let you move forward.

People seek grief therapy when they notice that something isn’t resolving. The waves of grief keep coming and don’t seem to be getting smaller. The numbness won’t lift. The loss has affected their sense of identity, their relationships, and their ability to function. Or they’re carrying a loss that was traumatic, sudden, or complicated in ways that make processing it alone feel impossible.

Grief therapy isn’t about getting over loss. It’s about finding a way to carry it that doesn’t consume you.

Who Grief Therapy Is For

Grief therapy may be right for you if you’re experiencing:

Loss that isn't moving through the way you expected
Grief after the death of a loved one still feels raw
Loss of a partner, spouse, parent, child, or close friend
Traumatic loss or sudden death that left you in shock
Complicated grief that has become stuck or frozen
Anticipatory grief while watching someone you love decline
Miscarriage, pregnancy loss, or infant loss
Grief that comes in waves you can't predict
Emotional numbness after loss or feeling empty
Difficulty returning to normal routines or finding meaning

Grief doesn't follow a timeline. There are ways to work with it.

How Grief Therapy Changes What You Carry

Before Grief Therapy

Feeling stuck in the weight of loss with no way forward
Getting knocked down by waves of grief without warning
Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected from life
Carrying guilt, regret, or unfinished business that won't resolve
Struggling with loss affecting relationships, work, and sense of self
Avoiding reminders or getting stuck thinking about the loss

After Grief Therapy

Carrying grief that has been processed and integrated, not avoided
Experiencing waves that still come but don't overwhelm
Reconnecting with life, meaning, and relationships
Resolving guilt, regret, or what was left unsaid
Holding a sense of identity that includes the loss without being consumed by it
Remembering without being pulled back into the same pain

How I Work With Grief and Loss

Processing grief at the pace your nervous system can handle

I use trauma-informed approaches to help you process grief in ways that go beyond talking. EMDR helps reprocess memories connected to the loss that are still activating your nervous system. IFS helps you connect with the parts of you carrying the grief. Somatic therapy addresses what your body is holding. And CBT helps with the thoughts and beliefs that have formed around the loss.

We move at your pace. Grief therapy isn’t about forcing yourself to feel things before you’re ready. It’s about creating the conditions where the grief can finally move, and where you can begin to find your way back to living.

What I Offer

EMDR to reprocess memories and moments connected to loss
IFS to work with the parts of you holding grief, guilt, and regret
Somatic therapy to release what your body is carrying
Space for the grief to be what it is without rushing toward resolution
Help integrating the loss into your life in a way that feels bearable

If this hasn't been shifting, there's usually a reason. It's time to take the first step.

Hello. I’m Micah.

Therapist for Grief and Loss

I’m a licensed professional counselor specializing in grief, loss, and trauma therapy, with advanced training in complex trauma and dissociation through the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation. I hold a Master’s in Counseling from William and Mary and have worked with grief and loss across multiple levels of mental health care.

I’ve been in therapy myself. I know what it’s like to carry something that changes how you see the world. That experience shapes how I work now, with honesty, patience, and genuine investment in helping you find what feels true. I believe that grief can be integrated without being minimized, and that you can find your way back to life without abandoning what you’ve lost.

Understanding Grief and Loss

Grief is the natural response to loss. But grief doesn’t always follow a predictable path, and some losses are harder to process than others. Understanding the different forms grief can take helps clarify what you’re experiencing and what kind of support might help.

Types of Grief

Grief takes different forms depending on the loss and your relationship to it:

Grief after the death of a loved one is the most recognized form
Loss of a partner or spouse, which reshapes daily life and identity
Loss of a child is often called the most difficult grief to bear
Loss of a family member, parent, sibling, or close friend
Anticipatory grief, grieving before the loss has happened
Complicated grief, when grief becomes stuck or prolonged
Prolonged grief, when acute grief continues for extended periods
Traumatic grief, when the loss itself was sudden or traumatic

Sudden and Traumatic Loss

When loss happens suddenly or traumatically, grief becomes intertwined with shock and trauma:

Sudden death of a loved one with no time to prepare
Traumatic death, including accidents, violence, or suicide
Miscarriage trauma and pregnancy loss
Car accident PTSD and accident trauma
Medical trauma, including surgery trauma, ICU trauma, and illness trauma
Witnessing death or being present during a traumatic event

Unresolved and Complicated Grief

Sometimes grief doesn’t move through the way it should:

Unresolved loss that hasn’t been fully processed
Complicated grief that has become frozen or stuck
Grief complicated by guilt, regret, or unfinished business
Grief and traumatic loss intertwined together
Grief trauma that requires more than time to heal

Emotional Responses to Grief

Grief shows up emotionally in ways that can be overwhelming:

Sadness that feels bottomless
Anger, sometimes at unexpected targets
Guilt about what you did or didn’t do
Emotional numbness after loss
Feeling empty after loss
Waves of grief that come without warning
Difficulty processing emotions or feeling them at all

Physical Symptoms of Grief

Grief lives in the body as much as the mind:

Fatigue and exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix
Sleep disturbances, either insomnia or sleeping too much
Changes in appetite
Difficulty concentrating
Physical aches and pains without a clear cause
Withdrawal from activities and people

How Grief Affects Daily Life

Loss changes how you move through the world:

Difficulty returning to normal routines
Impact of grief on relationships
Challenges with work or daily responsibilities
Feeling disconnected from others
Loss affecting your sense of identity
Difficulty finding meaning after loss

Therapeutic Approaches I Use for Grief and Loss

I integrate several modalities to address grief at different levels. We tailor the approach to what you need rather than following a fixed protocol.

EMDR for Grief and Loss

EMDR helps reprocess memories connected to loss that are still activating your nervous system. This might include the moment you learned of the death, the last conversation, or images that keep returning. EMDR helps the brain process what it couldn’t integrate at the time.

How EMDR supports grief processing:

Reprocesses traumatic moments connected to the loss
Reduces the intensity of intrusive memories and images
Helps resolve guilt, regret, and what was left unsaid
Allows the nervous system to recognize the loss without re-traumatizing

IFS for Grief and Loss

Internal Family Systems therapy helps you connect with the parts of you carrying the grief. There may be parts that are devastated, parts that feel guilty, parts that are trying to protect you from feeling the full weight of the loss. IFS creates the conditions for these parts to be heard and to release what they’re holding.

How IFS supports grief processing:

Builds compassion for the parts carrying grief and pain
Addresses guilt, anger, and protective numbness
Creates space for the loss to be felt without overwhelming the system
Helps integrate the grief rather than exile it

Somatic Therapy for Grief and Loss

Grief lives in the body. The heaviness in your chest, the tension you carry, the exhaustion that won’t lift. Somatic therapy works directly with what your body is holding, helping your nervous system process the loss at a level that words alone can’t reach.

How somatic therapy supports grief processing:

Releases physical tension and holding patterns connected to grief
Addresses the fatigue and shutdown that often accompany loss
Reconnects you to your body when grief has caused disconnection
Helps the nervous system move out of chronic stress or freeze

Other Types of Trauma I Work With

Grief often overlaps with other forms of trauma. I also work with:

Medical Trauma

Hospitalization, surgery, ICU stays, and serious illness can leave lasting effects on your nervous system:

Surgical trauma from procedures that were frightening or painful
ICU trauma from extended or critical hospital stays
Illness trauma from chronic or life-threatening diagnoses
Medical trauma from invasive procedures or loss of bodily autonomy

Accident Trauma

Accidents can leave you with symptoms that persist long after physical healing:

Car accident, PTSD, and driving anxiety
Accident trauma from any sudden, unexpected injury
Hypervigilance and flashbacks related to the event

Workplace Trauma

Trauma doesn’t only happen in dramatic circumstances. Workplace experiences can be deeply damaging:

Workplace trauma from hostile or abusive environments
Workplace bullying and its lasting effects on self-worth
Chronic stress and burnout have become traumatic

What to Expect in Your First Grief Therapy Session

The first session is about understanding what you’re carrying and building enough safety to do real work. We move at your pace.

We’ll talk about the loss and what’s been happening since
I’ll ask questions to understand the context, but you share only what feels manageable
We’ll identify what’s been hardest and what you’re hoping to change
I’ll explain how I work and answer any questions you have
We’ll decide together whether this feels like a good fit

There's support for this. Grief therapy can help.

Frequently Asked Questions About Grief Therapy

What Are the 7 Stages of Grief?

The “7 stages of grief” is a popular framework, though grief researchers generally recognize that grief doesn’t follow a linear path.

The Stages Model

Shock and denial
Pain and guilt
Anger and bargaining
Depression and loneliness
The upward turn
Reconstruction and working through
Acceptance and hope

What Research Actually Shows

Most grief researchers now emphasize that grief is not linear. You may move through these experiences in any order, revisit them, or experience several at once. The stages model can be useful for understanding that grief has different dimensions, but it shouldn’t be used as a checklist or timeline.

What Are Signs of Complicated Grief?

Complicated grief, also called prolonged grief disorder, is when acute grief continues for an extended period and interferes with your ability to function.

Signs That Grief May Be Complicated

Intense grief that hasn’t softened after 12 months or more
Difficulty accepting the reality of the loss
Feeling that life has no meaning or purpose without the person
Persistent longing or yearning for the deceased
Difficulty moving forward with daily life
Avoidance of reminders or, conversely, excessive focus on reminders
Feeling numb or detached from others
Feeling that part of you died with the person

What Is the Difference Between Grief and Mourning?

Grief and mourning are related but distinct:

Grief vs. Mourning

Grief is the internal experience, what you feel and think after loss
Mourning is the external expression of grief, and how you show it to the world
Grief is universal, and mourning is shaped by culture and context
Therapy works with both the internal experience and how you express and process it

What Does Grief Do to Your Body?

Grief is a full-body experience. Loss affects your nervous system, immune system, and physical functioning.

Physical Symptoms of Grief

Fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest
Sleep disturbances, insomnia, or hypersomnia
Changes in appetite, eating too much or too little
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Aches, pains, and physical tension
Weakened immune response
Chest tightness or heaviness
Shortness of breath or sighing

What Are the Hardest Types of Grief?

Some losses are recognized as particularly difficult to process:

Losses That Are Often Most Difficult

Loss of a child is often considered the most devastating form of grief
Sudden or traumatic death, with no opportunity to prepare
Suicide loss, which often involves complex emotions and stigma
Ambiguous loss, when someone is physically present but psychologically absent
Disenfranchised grief, losses that aren’t socially recognized or supported
Multiple losses occurring close together

Why Does Grief Hurt So Much?

Grief hurts because attachment is fundamental to being human. When that attachment is severed, the brain and body respond with profound distress.

Why Loss Is Physically and Emotionally Painful

Attachment bonds are wired into your nervous system
Loss triggers the same brain regions as physical pain
The absence of the person creates a void that the brain keeps trying to fill
Grief involves adjusting your entire understanding of the world
The pain is proportional to the love, which is why it can be so intense

Why Does Grief Come in Waves?

Grief comes in waves because that’s how the brain processes overwhelming experiences.

Understanding Grief Waves

The nervous system can only tolerate so much at once
Grief surfaces when there’s enough capacity to process it
Triggers, anniversaries, and reminders can bring waves forward
Waves often become less frequent and less intense over time
The goal of therapy isn’t to eliminate waves but to help you navigate them

How Long Does Grief Usually Last?

There is no standard timeline for grief. The idea that grief should resolve within a year is a myth.

What Research Shows About Grief Duration

Acute grief often softens within the first year or two
Grief never fully “ends,” but it changes over time
Complicated grief may persist without treatment
Anniversary reactions can occur for years or decades
The goal is integration, not elimination

How Long Is Too Long to Grieve?

There’s no universal “too long.” Grief becomes a clinical concern when it remains at acute intensity for an extended period, typically beyond 12 months, and significantly interferes with functioning. If your grief isn’t moving or softening at all, therapy can help.

How Does Grief Therapy Work?

Grief therapy provides a structured space to process loss with support.

What Happens in Grief Therapy

You share your experience at your own pace
We identify what’s been hardest and what might be keeping you stuck
We use approaches like EMDR, IFS, and somatic therapy to process at different levels
We address guilt, regret, unfinished business, and complicated emotions
We work toward integrating the loss into your life in a bearable way

How Do You Cope With Losing Someone?

Coping with loss involves allowing grief its space while also maintaining connection to life.

Strategies That Help

Allowing yourself to feel what you feel without judgment
Talking about the loss with people who can hold space
Maintaining some structure and routine
Practicing self-care even when it feels pointless
Seeking professional support when grief becomes overwhelming
Permitting yourself to grieve at your own pace

Who Should See a Grief Therapist?

You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from grief therapy.

Good Candidates for Grief Therapy

Anyone whose grief isn’t moving through on its own
People experiencing complicated or prolonged grief
Those dealing with traumatic or sudden loss
People whose grief is affecting their functioning, relationships, or sense of self
Anyone who wants support in processing a significant loss

Who Is Most at Risk for Prolonged Grief?

Certain factors increase vulnerability to complicated or prolonged grief.

Risk Factors for Prolonged Grief

Close or dependent relationship with the deceased
Sudden, unexpected, or traumatic death
History of depression, anxiety, or previous trauma
Lack of social support
Multiple losses or concurrent stressors
Complicated relationship with the person who died

When Should Someone Seek Grief Counseling?

Consider grief counseling if:

Signs It Might Be Time

Your grief isn’t softening over time
You’re having difficulty functioning at work, home, or in relationships
You’re experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, or PTSD
You’re using substances to cope
You’re having thoughts of self-harm or suicide
You feel stuck, numb, or unable to move forward

Does Grief Therapy Actually Help?

Yes. Research supports the effectiveness of grief therapy, especially for complicated or traumatic grief.

What the Evidence Shows

Grief therapy reduces symptoms of complicated grief
EMDR is effective for grief related to traumatic loss
Therapy helps people integrate loss and return to functioning
Treatment is particularly helpful when grief has become stuck or prolonged

Can Therapy Help With Complicated Grief?

Yes. Complicated grief often requires specialized treatment to resolve.

How Therapy Helps Complicated Grief

Addresses the specific factors keeping grief stuck
Processes traumatic elements of the loss
Resolves guilt, regret, and unfinished business
Helps integrate the loss into your identity and life
Reduces symptoms like intrusive memories, avoidance, and emotional numbness

What If Grief Therapy Makes Me Feel Worse Before I Feel Better?

Some increased awareness of grief is normal as you begin to process what you’ve been avoiding.

What to Expect

There may be periods where grief feels more present
This is often a sign that processing is happening
We monitor this closely and adjust pacing as needed
The goal is to stay within what your nervous system can integrate

How Is Grief Therapy Different From Regular Therapy?

Grief therapy uses specialized approaches that address how loss affects the brain, body, and sense of self.

What Makes Grief Therapy Different

Focus on processing the specific loss and its impact
Approaches like EMDR and somatic therapy that work beyond talk
Attention to traumatic elements of loss when present
Integration of the loss into identity and ongoing life

How Does Grief Therapy Compare to Support Groups?

Both can be helpful, but they serve different purposes.

Grief Therapy vs. Support Groups

Support groups offer community and shared understanding
Therapy provides individualized processing and treatment
Support groups help you feel less alone
Therapy is better for complicated, traumatic, or stuck grief
Some people benefit from both

How Much Does Online Grief Therapy Cost in Virginia, and Do You Take Insurance?

Session Rates

$300 for a 53-minute session (out-of-network)
$200 for a 53-minute session (in-network with Anthem or Blue Cross Blue Shield)

Insurance and Out-of-Network Benefits

In-network with most Anthem and Blue Cross Blue Shield plans
Out-of-network with all other insurance
Out-of-network plans may reimburse 50-80% of the session cost
I provide a superbill you can submit for reimbursement
Check your estimated out-of-network benefits through a HIPAA-secure tool on my website

Submitting Insurance Claims

Mentaya, 5% of the session fee, I submit for you
Reimbursify, $3-4 per claim, you submit
Direct superbill submission to your insurance, free

Office Location

1550 Wilson Blvd Ste. 700 #226, Arlington, VA 22209
Radnor/Fort Myer Heights neighborhood
Near Rosslyn, Courthouse, and Clarendon
Rosslyn Metro Station (Blue, Orange, Silver Lines), approximately a 5-minute walk
Metered street parking along Wilson Blvd
Public parking garages in Rosslyn are within walking distance

Do You Offer Online Grief Therapy?

Yes. All of my sessions are conducted online through secure video. I provide grief therapy to adults across Virginia, including Alexandria, Arlington, Chesapeake, Hampton, Harrisonburg, Leesburg, Lynchburg, Manassas, Newport News, Norfolk, Portsmouth, Reston, Richmond, Roanoke, Suffolk, and Virginia Beach.