Internal Family Systems therapy offers a compassionate approach to working with anxiety, trauma, depression, and relationship patterns. IFS helps you understand the different parts of yourself, heal what’s been wounded, and build the kind of inner harmony that makes life feel more manageable. You learn to recognize protective strategies, release old burdens, and develop Self-leadership without having to fight against who you are.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a non-pathologizing approach that recognizes the mind as a naturally multiple system of parts, each with its own perspective and protective role.
Unlike traditional therapy models that focus on symptoms or diagnoses, IFS helps you build compassionate relationships with all parts of yourself, heal wounded parts carrying trauma or shame, and develop Self-leadership where your core can guide the internal system with calm, clarity, and compassion.
Healing often begins when people recognize that inner conflict isn’t a sign of brokenness. There’s a part that pushes hard, another that shuts down, and sometimes a younger part that carries old pain. These aren’t problems to eliminate. They’re parts of an internal system that developed to help you survive, and they deserve compassion.
Inner harmony becomes possible when every part feels heard, when the Self can lead with curiosity instead of judgment, and when the system no longer needs to fight itself to feel safe.
Internal Family Systems treatment creates space for this transformation. You learn to recognize parts as they show up, understand what they’re protecting, and help them release the burdens they’ve carried for years. The goal isn’t to get rid of parts or force them into silence. It’s to build a relationship where all parts trust Self to lead, where old protective strategies can soften, and where you can move through life feeling whole instead of fragmented.
Your parts have been protecting you for years. Now they need your compassion.
IFS recognizes that everyone has an internal system of parts. Some parts manage daily life by keeping everything controlled. Others react when emotions feel overwhelming. And some carry pain from experiences that happened long ago. These parts were developed to protect you, and they still believe their strategies are necessary even when those strategies no longer serve you.
How IFS therapy works:
The first session focuses on understanding what brings you to therapy and beginning to notice the parts that show up in your life. IFS moves at the pace your system can handle.
What to expect:
Internal Family Systems therapy helps with a wide range of emotional and relational challenges. Whether parts carry anxiety, trauma, or deep self-criticism, IFS creates space for healing.
Anxious parts often work overtime trying to prevent bad things from happening. They scan for danger, anticipate worst-case scenarios, and keep the nervous system activated. IFS helps you understand what these manager parts are protecting and teaches them that the Self can handle uncertainty without constant vigilance.
Traumatized parts hold memories and emotions that feel too overwhelming to process. Protective parts work hard to keep these exiled parts locked away, creating dissociation or emotional numbing. IFS allows you to approach trauma gently, helping protective parts feel safe enough to let exiles share their pain and release it.
Depression often shows up when exiled parts carry hopelessness or when manager parts believe nothing will ever change. IFS helps these parts feel heard, challenges the beliefs they hold, and reconnects them to Self, where hope and possibility still exist.
Parts developed in early relationships often show up in adult partnerships. A part that learned to people-please might sacrifice needs to keep others close. A part that learned closeness isn’t safe might push intimacy away. IFS helps rework these attachment patterns by healing the younger parts that carry them.
When parts feel overwhelmed, emotions can surge quickly and intensely. Firefighter parts might react with impulsive behaviors to numb the pain. IFS helps build capacity to stay present with emotions, teaches parts they don’t have to flood the system, and strengthens the Self’s ability to hold difficult feelings without collapsing.
IFS therapy integrates compassionate parts work with practical skill-building. From understanding parts of yourself to developing self-leadership skills, we can work through things at your own pace.
IFS views the mind as a system of parts, each with its own perspective, emotions, and protective strategies. Self is the core that can lead all parts with compassion, curiosity, and calm.
How this helps:
Trauma gets stored in exiled parts that protective parts work hard to keep hidden. Traditional trauma therapy often asks people to retell events, which can feel retraumatizing. IFS approaches trauma differently.
How this helps:
Unburdening is the process of helping parts release beliefs and emotions they’ve carried since the original wounding. An exiled part might carry the belief that it’s unlovable or that the world isn’t safe.
How this helps:
Self-leadership means living from the core of who you are rather than from reactive parts. When Self leads, decisions come from clarity instead of fear, and relationships feel more authentic.
How this helps:
Stop fighting the parts of yourself that need compassion most.
Hello. I’m Micah Fleitman, LPC.
I became a therapist because healing transformed my life. For years, I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. My emotions felt overwhelming, and I didn’t know how to let people care for me. I questioned my worth and tried to hold everything together, but nothing ever felt good enough.
Healing began when I stopped fighting my feelings and started listening to them. I learned that even the parts of me I wanted to ignore were trying to help, and they needed my help too. As I built trust with myself, I was able to let others in fully, safely, and without shame.
I offer Internal Family Systems therapy online throughout Virginia. Serving across Arlington, Richmond, Virginia Beach, and throughout the state. My secure teletherapy makes IFS accessible from wherever you feel comfortable. Online sessions provide the same depth and effectiveness as in-person therapy while offering flexibility that works with your life.
Locations served throughout Virginia:
Internal Family Systems therapy recognizes the mind as a system of parts, each with its own perspective and protective strategies, all organized around a core Self that leads with compassion.
The Core Concept of IFS
IFS views inner conflict as parts trying to protect in different ways. When parts clash, it’s because they have competing strategies for keeping safe.
Key principles:
Understanding the Three Types of Parts
IFS identifies three categories based on protective roles.
Managers
Managers try to control life to prevent pain before it happens.
Common manager strategies:
Firefighters
Firefighter parts react when pain breaks through despite managers’ efforts.
Common firefighter strategies:
Exiles
Exiled parts carry wounds from the past that felt too overwhelming to process when they happened.
What exiles hold:
What Is Self-Energy
Self is the core of who you are, separate from all parts.
Qualities of Self
The 8 Cs of Self:
How Self Leads the Internal System
When Self is present:
Inside an IFS Therapy Session: Process and Experience
Sessions focus on noticing parts, understanding their roles, and building relationships between parts and the Self.
Identifying Parts
Signs a part is active:
Building a Relationship with Self
Therapy helps you access Self so you can relate to parts from a grounded place. When Self is present, parts feel heard in a way they haven’t before.
Internal Dialogue Process
IFS uses internal dialogue where you, from Self, communicate directly with parts. You might ask what a part is afraid will happen if it stops working so hard, or what it needs to feel safe.
A Concrete Example of IFS in Practice
Someone struggling with intense self-criticism might discover the critical voice is a protective part. From Self, they ask the critic what it’s protecting. The critic reveals it’s trying to prevent external criticism by being harsh first. Once Self witnesses this intention with compassion, the critic begins to trust that Self will keep the person safe without needing cruelty. Over time, the inner critic softens, and self-compassion becomes possible.
IFS addresses emotional, relational, and psychological challenges by working with the parts that carry these struggles and helping the Self lead the internal system toward healing.
Using Family Systems Trauma Therapy to Heal Emotional Wounds
Internal Family Systems therapy helps with conditions where parts carry intense emotions, protective strategies, or unprocessed pain. By identifying and healing wounded parts, IFS reduces emotional reactivity and transforms negative self-talk into self-compassion.
IFS for Anxiety
Anxiety comes from manager parts working overtime to prevent bad outcomes.
How anxious parts show up:
IFS helps you understand what these parts are protecting. Often, they’re trying to prevent a younger exiled part from feeling overwhelmed again.
IFS for Trauma and PTSD
Trauma gets stored in exiled parts that protective parts work hard to keep hidden.
Processing Trauma Without Retraumatization
IFS approaches trauma gently:
Working with Protective Parts Around Trauma
Protectors fear that accessing trauma will destroy the system. IFS respects this fear and never forces parts to share before they’re ready.
How IFS Helps You Reconnect with Your Inner System for Healing
The process of building compassionate internal relationships restores internal harmony. When parts feel heard and valued by Self, protective strategies soften, wounded parts release their burdens, and the system reorganizes around Self-leadership instead of fear or shame.
IFS for Depression
Depression involves exiled parts carrying hopelessness, combined with manager parts that believe nothing will ever change.
Exiles Carrying Hopelessness
When exiles feel abandoned:
IFS helps the Self connect with these parts, witness their pain, and offer the care they’ve been longing for.
Key Benefits of IFS Therapy for Mental and Emotional Health
Through IFS therapy, clients experience practical improvements in daily life, including better emotional regulation, increased self-compassion, reduced anxiety and depression symptoms, and greater capacity to stay present with difficult emotions without becoming overwhelmed.
Improving Relationships and Communication Through IFS
Healing internal parts leads to healthier external relationships and better communication. When parts carrying attachment wounds are healed, people-pleasing decreases, vulnerability becomes possible, and authentic connection replaces protective patterns.
IFS for Borderline Personality Disorder
BPD involves intense emotional responses, fear of abandonment, and unstable relationships that make sense through a parts lens.
Parts Work with Emotional Intensity
People with BPD often have:
IFS helps organize the system, strengthen Self-leadership, and give parts healthier ways to get needs met.
IFS for ADHD
ADHD symptoms can involve parts struggling with executive function, parts feeling overwhelmed by demands, and parts coping through distraction.
Executive Function and Parts
IFS doesn’t treat ADHD neurologically but helps with emotional and relational struggles:
IFS for Relationship Patterns
Relationship struggles come from parts that developed protective strategies in early attachments.
Attachment Wounds
Early relationship patterns show up in adult partnerships:
Some people find that relational psychodynamic therapy helps explore how these early attachment patterns show up in relationships today, especially when paired with IFS parts work.
People-Pleasing and Perfectionism
These are manager strategies designed to:
IFS helps these parts see that Self can handle relationships without needing to be perfect or constantly accommodating.
IFS for Self-Criticism and Low Self-Worth
The inner critic is one of the most common protective parts.
Inner Critic as Protective Part
The critic tries to keep you safe from external criticism by being harsh first. When Self relates to the critic with curiosity instead of trying to silence it, the critic often reveals it’s protecting a younger part that was criticized or shamed. Once that exile is healed, the critic’s job becomes obsolete, and self-compassion can emerge.
Internal Family Systems differs from other therapeutic approaches in how it views the mind, addresses symptoms, and facilitates healing.
IFS vs Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
CBT challenges thought patterns to change emotions and behaviors. IFS recognizes that thoughts come from parts, and understanding the part generating them creates bigger change.
How CBT and IFS Approach Negative Thoughts
In CBT, you challenge “I’m worthless” by looking for evidence against it. In IFS, you ask which part believes that and what happened to make it true for them.
Key differences:
Some people find that trauma-focused CBT in Virginia offers structured skill-building that pairs well with the emotional depth of parts work.
IFS vs Traditional Talk Therapy
Talk therapy processes emotions verbally and builds insight. IFS works directly with the parts, creating patterns.
Internal Dialogue vs External Processing
Traditional therapy: talking to your therapist about feelings
IFS therapy: talking to your parts from Self, with therapist guidance
Why this matters:
Why IFS Doesn’t Require Retelling Trauma Details
Many trauma therapies require detailed descriptions. IFS recognizes Self can witness parts’ pain without verbalizing every detail, making it safer for people who dissociate or become overwhelmed.
IFS vs EMDR
EMDR uses bilateral stimulation to reprocess traumatic memories. IFS uses internal dialogue to help parts release trauma.
How they complement each other:
IFS vs Somatic Therapy
Somatic therapy works with the body’s responses to trauma and stress, helping release what’s stored physically. IFS recognizes parts often show up in the body, but focuses on the relationship between parts and the Self.
How Somatic Therapy and IFS Work Together
Many people find these approaches complement each other beautifully:
IFS vs Family Systems Therapy
Despite similar names, these are different approaches.
The Key Difference
Family systems therapy: dynamics between people in a family
IFS therapy: internal system of parts within one person
How they relate:
What Makes IFS Unique
IFS offers qualities that distinguish it from other therapeutic approaches.
The Multiplicity Model
Everyone has parts. This normalizes inner conflict and removes pathology.
What this means:
No Bad Parts Philosophy
IFS believes there are no bad parts, only parts stuck in extreme roles because of what they experienced.
Core principle:
Self as Natural Healer
IFS trusts everyone has Self, and Self naturally knows how to heal.
The therapist’s role:
Research supports Internal Family Systems as an effective treatment for trauma, depression, anxiety, and relationship issues, with studies showing significant symptom reduction and improved quality of life.
Research Support for Internal Family Systems
IFS has a growing body of research demonstrating its effectiveness.
Is IFS Scientifically Proven?
Multiple studies show IFS reduces symptoms and improves functioning:
While more large-scale studies are needed, existing evidence supports IFS as an effective trauma-informed approach.
Studies on IFS Effectiveness
Research consistently shows that helping parts feel heard and unburdening exiles leads to measurable symptom relief.
Conditions studied:
Does IFS Heal Trauma?
IFS addresses trauma by working with the parts that carry it rather than requiring detailed retelling.
How Trauma Healing Happens in IFS
Trauma healing occurs when:
Some people find that EMDR therapy works well alongside IFS, with EMDR processing specific memories while IFS addresses the broader protective system.
The Unburdening Process
Unburdening is the moment an exiled part releases what it’s been holding.
How it happens:
Once unburdened:
Why It Works Without Retraumatization
IFS prevents overwhelm through:
This gentle approach allows trauma healing without the retraumatization that can happen in exposure-based therapies.
What to Expect from IFS Therapy
IFS creates lasting change, but the timeline varies.
Realistic Outcomes
IFS can help you:
What IFS doesn’t promise:
The goal is living from the Self instead of from wounded or protective parts.
Building Internal Resources
Early therapy strengthens the self so it can handle what parts need to share.
Why this foundation matters:
How do I find an Internal Family Systems therapist near me in Virginia?
Look for therapists who list IFS as a primary modality and have specific training in parts work.
Questions to ask:
Many therapists offer free consultations where you can sense whether the fit feels right.
Virginia IFS Therapy Locations: Richmond, Henrico, and Northern Virginia
IFS therapists are available throughout Virginia, including Richmond, Henrico County, Northern Virginia communities like Arlington and Alexandria, and Hampton Roads areas, including Virginia Beach and Norfolk. Online teletherapy makes IFS accessible across the state, from urban centers to rural areas.
The timeline for Internal Family Systems therapy varies based on the complexity of your internal system, the number of parts needing attention, and how quickly protective parts feel safe enough to allow deeper work.
Timeline for IFS Therapy
IFS isn’t brief therapy, but it doesn’t require years of weekly sessions for everyone.
How Long Does It Take for IFS to Work?
Timeline varies by person:
Early changes:
Initial vs Deeper Work
First phase (several months):
Deeper phase (timeline varies):
Factors That Influence Length of Treatment
Several factors affect how long therapy takes.
Complexity of Trauma
Single-incident trauma:
Complex developmental trauma:
Number of Parts Needing Attention
System complexity varies:
Building Internal Resources First
IFS requires a strong enough Self to witness exiles’ pain without collapsing.
When more time is needed:
Phases of IFS Therapy
IFS typically moves through three broad phases (not always linear).
Phase 1: Safety and Stabilization
Early therapy builds a foundation:
Phase 2: Parts Work and Unburdening
Once safety is established:
Phase 3: Integration
After unburdening, reorganization happens:
The Two-Year Rule in Therapy
Meaningful therapeutic change often takes around two years of consistent work.
What This Means
This doesn’t mean exactly two years. It means:
How It Applies to IFS
IFS aligns with this timeline:
The timeline matters less than the depth of transformation:
While IFS is effective for many people, it has limitations and isn’t the right fit for everyone, particularly those needing immediate crisis support or highly structured skill-based interventions.
When IFS Might Not Be the Best Fit
Certain situations call for different therapeutic approaches.
Active Crisis Situations
IFS is not a crisis intervention model.
Crises requiring other support first:
Once stabilization is achieved, IFS can be part of treatment.
Severe Dissociation Without Stabilization
While IFS helps with dissociation, severe cases need preparation first.
Why stabilization matters:
Preference for Structured, Directive Approaches
IFS is exploratory and follows what emerges from the internal system.
Other approaches may be better if you prefer:
Potential Challenges in IFS
Even when IFS is a good fit, certain challenges can arise.
Working with Overwhelming Parts
Some parts carry intense emotions that feel destabilizing to access.
What this looks like:
This requires:
Accessing Self When Parts Are Blended
If protective parts are highly blended, accessing Self can be difficult.
Signs of extreme blending:
Solution:
The Patience Required
IFS requires patience that can feel frustrating.
Why IFS moves slowly:
This pace can feel frustrating if:
What IFS Doesn’t Address Directly
IFS focuses on internal parts work and doesn’t directly teach certain skills.
Skill-Building
Unlike DBT or CBT, IFS doesn’t provide:
If you need these skills:
Medication Management
IFS is psychotherapy, not psychiatric medication management.
What this means:
External Life Changes
IFS changes your internal world, which often leads to external changes, but it doesn’t directly address practical problems.
What IFS doesn’t directly solve:
These may require:
Honest Limitations of the Approach
IFS isn’t a cure-all.
IFS works best for people who:
IFS may not be appropriate as a starting point if you need:
Many people use IFS principles for self-reflection and healing, but working with a therapist provides safety, guidance, and support that self-practice alone cannot offer, especially when approaching deeply wounded parts.
Self-Led IFS Practice
IFS can be practiced on your own to some extent, particularly with less vulnerable parts.
Benefits of Working with Parts on Your Own
Self-practice helps you:
Daily practices that help:
Journaling and Internal Dialogue
Many people use journaling to communicate with parts.
How it works:
Benefits:
When You Need a Therapist for IFS
Self-practice has limits, and certain aspects of IFS require professional support.
Working with Exiles Safely
Exiled parts carry intense pain that can overwhelm the system without adequate support.
Why therapist support matters:
A therapist ensures:
Navigating Overwhelming Parts
When parts feel too intense to handle alone, a therapist provides external regulation and perspective.
What therapists help with:
Building Self-Energy with Support
Some people struggle to access Self on their own because parts are so blended.
A therapist can help:
Resources for IFS Self-Work
Books and resources can support self-practice.
Recommended IFS Resources for Continued Learning
Recommended reading:
Additional resources:
Important limitation:
Internal Family Systems integrates well with Christian faith and other spiritual traditions because it honors inner multiplicity without imposing a specific spiritual framework, allowing people to bring their own beliefs into the healing process.
IFS and Christian Faith
Many Christians practice IFS and find it complements their faith.
Parts vs Spiritual Beliefs
Some Christians initially worry that parts work conflicts with the idea of a unified soul or might be spiritually dangerous.
What IFS actually teaches:
This framework:
How Christian Clients Integrate IFS
Christian clients often find meaningful connections between IFS and their faith.
Common interpretations:
Important note:
IFS and Other Spiritual Traditions
IFS integrates with various spiritual paths.
Buddhism and Parts Work
Buddhism’s concept of non-self and recognition of changing mental states aligns well with IFS.
How they complement each other:
Secular vs Spiritual Approaches
IFS works whether you’re religious, spiritual, or secular.
The framework:
Common Questions from Religious Clients
People with strong faith backgrounds sometimes have specific concerns.
Is Parts Work Safe Spiritually?
IFS doesn’t involve anything occult, New Age, or spiritually risky.
What IFS is:
What it isn’t:
How IFS Complements Faith Practices
Many people find IFS deepens their spiritual life.
When parts carrying shame or fear are healed:
IFS can:
What happens:
Internal Family Systems (IFS) was developed by Richard Schwartz in the 1980s when he noticed clients naturally spoke about different “parts” of themselves. Rather than viewing this as pathological, Schwartz recognized it as a fundamental aspect of how the mind works.
The Origins and Philosophy of IFS
IFS emerged from Schwartz’s work with clients who had eating disorders and trauma. He observed that when clients accessed different parts, those parts had distinct perspectives, emotions, and protective roles. This led to the core IFS principle: everyone has an internal system of parts, and this multiplicity is normal, not a sign of illness.
What makes IFS different from traditional therapy models:
How IFS Differs from Traditional Therapy Models
Traditional mental health treatments often focus on symptom reduction, diagnosis, and external behavior change. IFS takes a fundamentally different approach.
The Non-Pathologizing Approach
IFS doesn’t view parts as symptoms, disorders, or problems to fix. A part that creates anxiety isn’t broken – it’s protecting you from something it believes is dangerous. A part that drives perfectionism isn’t the enemy – it’s trying to keep you safe from criticism or rejection.
Traditional therapy approach:
IFS approach:
Self-Leadership vs Therapist as Expert
In traditional therapy models, the therapist often holds the expertise and guides the client toward healing. In IFS, the Self is the natural healer, and the therapist helps clients access and strengthen Self-leadership.
What this means in practice:
IFS as a Non-Pathologizing, Client-Centered Model
IFS revolutionized therapy by recognizing that:
This shifts therapy from “What’s wrong with you and how do we fix it?” to “What happened to you, what did your parts have to do to survive it, and how can Self help them heal?”
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